If your relationship troubles you, maybe it's time to examine your situation more closely. Some things you can mistake for love are not.

Love isn't yielding to another's will. Some compromise is good, but submission is not. You shouldn't be sacrificing yourself. He or she shouldn't be hurting you. Love is NOT a reason to endure abuse. Love can be painful (as in the sense of missing someone you love or seeing them get hurt) but love is not an excuse to be hurt. No one who really loves you will pressure you to sleep with him or her, give him head (or eat her out), touch you where you do not want to be touched, or do any other thing you do not want to do. He or she will not insult you, call you worthless, or make fun of you. He or she will not laugh when you cry, and he/she will never hit you or cheat on you or talk bad about you behind your back.

Love is never an excuse for something bad; it is only a reason for something good. If you're in a bad relationship, get out. No one who really loves you will treat you badly, and you deserve love. It's hard to leave an abusive situation, but abuse doesn't get better with time; act now.

There is someone out there. Staying with someone who hurts will keep you from a guy or girl who loves you. Abusers often say, "I'm the only one who will ever put up with you; you won't get any better than me." That's a lie. The man or woman of your dreams awaits you. Dump this abusive loser to find him or her.

Jealousy is a common problem-- and a little bit is understandable; people are going to have a natural "protective" tendency triggered, and that's ok. However, if you feel trapped-- if this person starts to try to control your every move-- it's time to reconsider things. You don't want someone like that in your life. It's your life; you need to live it. Don't let anyone manipulate you.

Jealousy is like fire-- a little bit of heat can be nice sometimes, but too much is never good, and if it gets out of control you need to get away or you'll be burnt very badly.

Trust is the most important element in a relationship. Without trust, you have no ground to stand on. Loving, thoughtful conversations are an essential part of any relationship. If you feel uncomfortable talking with your partner about important issues, perhaps you should rethink things. Should you be with someone you can't communicate with?

Misunderstandings cause many problems. If something's wrong, speak up. You have a right to talk and be heard. If you are afraid to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend the truth, what are you afraid of? If you're afraid of him or her, you shouldn't be together. Everyone is troubled by guys or girls, but not like this; people in positive, healthy relationships are able to speak their minds freely.

The worst part of abuse is that it makes the victim feel responsible-- however, if you are abused, it is not your fault.

Hopefully you will never have to deal with abuse, but unfortunately, many do. If you are abused, you are not alone. There are many places you can get help, and you can read more about abuse. Please, don't hesitate-- I know it can be scary, but you don't have to live in fear. You can escape your situation.

Of course, if you are in love, wonderful! Just remember to take things slowly, and don't assume everything you feel while in love is love.

I wish you the very best.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, is not pompous,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 4-8