Virginity may not be an easy choice, but it's certainly the wrong choice to make because somebody else says so. Virginity means respecting yourself and caring so much for your future partner that you want what's best for both of you and you're willing to sacrifice a few nonessentials for something much better. Virginity frees you from sexual worry and lets you make more choices in life; it doesn't hold you back. And there are plenty of other virgins out there: the majority, in fact, at least until college. But don't rush into sexual activity in high school, or especially junior high, because chances are, much later, you'll find out that by trying not to miss anything you really did miss out big.

Remember, sexual activity includes more than just sex (see When Am I Ready?).

The answer seems so simple: wait. Indeed, it is simple. But simple doesn't always mean easy. It's hard enough to say no to sex on your own-- we all have sexual desire-- but it's even harder to back down when society screams at us to say yes. Stand up to the pressure. It's your life. After carefully weighing the facts, decide what's best for you and stick with it. A lot of people sell themselves short sexually. If you want the best experience possible, if you want to share it with that most special someone-- go for it! But often sexual activity is not the way to "go for it"; it's just a distraction on the way to finding what you really want.

The question is not whether you'll have sex someday: if you want to, you will. The question is: with whom?

Related Books

• A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue this book is perhaps the definitive defense of abstinence, intelligently written and tempered by the fires of life... I can recommend few books so highly... really, this is in a way the book that inspired this site
• Sex Smart: 501 Reasons to Hold Off on Sex a concise, to-the-point book about why you should wait before having sex
• The First Time: Women Speak Out About Losing Their Virginity after inteviewing 150 women about their first time, the author concludes that those who wait and find someone romantic enjoy sex most of all