not sure about what to do

ok, I am in love with this guy. I cant stop thinking about him at all, its like what i do with most of my day. Theres just one promble, he is a missionary in my church. When your a missionary you go on a mission for 2 years, and in that time you cant have a relationship. Its really hard for me the most i can do is shake his hand, and talk to him. Every time I see him everything moves slow and it like we are the only ones in the room. I find myself waiting till the next time I see him, and it never long as I would like. I think he likes me but I know he would never act on it because his mission is importaint to him, and I will never make him pick. I really need to know if I should tell him, and if I should how? Should I just try and move on, and if I should how? I just really need to know what should I do so please help me out. Thank you for your time

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If his commitment to his work is strong, it doesn't hurt to tell

If he is committed to being a missionary, I don't think it will hurt to tell him. Whether he likes you or not, it sounds like you want to tell him your feelings. Telling him doesn't mean you have to make him pick between you and his mission; just tell him you know that he's going but you can't help it that you like him, and you just wanted him to know.

I think telling him will help you move on. Obviously, you don't want to stop him from doing his life's work, but you can't help liking him, either. So telling him that, and acknowledging the impossibility of your situation, will probably help.

As for when to tell him, if the two of you have any private time together that would be best-- and I would tell him in person if at all possible. But if not, try writing a letter. Don't use the phone; there are too many ways to get interrupted when you're on the phone with someone, and you want to have the time to talk in detail. The advantage of the letter is he can read it whenever he gets the chance, and reply when he is ready.

Of course, telling him won't mean your feelings will pass right away. In fact, if it turns out he likes you, too, there's a good chance they'll get stronger for awhile. But having the conversation with him will help you understand your feelings more, and after that you at least won't agonize as much about what he thinks, since you'll know. Then you can start to "move on." Of course, moving on doesn't mean you have to stop caring about him; it just means that you realize that you can't have a relationship with him, but you can still enjoy his company.

Jude | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 07:42

need a lil more help still

now that u said I should tell him theres a in lil promble that I just thought of, if I tell him he might get tranferied and then I dont know what to do I wont be able to see him and then I will go crazy knowing that i was my failt on why i cant see him

mormon_girl_101 | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 08:45

What do you mean?

What do you mean "he might get transferred"? Will he actually get transferred because of you telling him you like him? Or is this something else? I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Jude | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 10:16

i mean this

when i say he might get transferred I mean that he might have to go serve his mission at a differnt branch then I might not see him anymore, because if the missionary feels that I will or he will be distaceded by the presents of someone more then likly they would be transferred or at lease thats what my cuz said. I dont really know becuase her and me are the only ones in are family that are mormon so I really dont know the rules about that yet, and I dont know who I would ask without giveing it away that I love this Elder!!!!

mormon_girl_101 | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 16:39

In that case...

Is there a religious leader you can ask then? Unfortunately, I am not familiar with Mormon practices and so I can't help you in this regard.

What I can tell you is that if you're really feeling the need to tell him of your love, you should do so. Trust your heart. I doubt he would be transferred just because someone (you) fell in love with him. If he's fallen in love with you, too, and it becomes a problem-- well, it would be a problem anyway, then, so it is worth it to speak out.

Jude | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 19:32

thank you

I just wanted to say thank you for helping me to the best of your abilty. It really means alot to me, that someone cares enoghe(sorry I dont know how to spell it) to try and help me out with my promble. I will talk to the branch Pres. I already have a meeting with him Sunday, so I can get a temple thing. I will let you know how it goes, thats if you want me to.

mormon_girl_101 | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 22:19

You're welcome

I'm glad to have helped. Certainly, let me know how it goes.

Jude | Wed, 01/30/2008 - 22:47

the dealyo lol

I talked to my friend thats been in the church her hole life and he could get transfered, but I prayed to heavley father (god) for help and to know if I should wait till he is off his missashon and if I should I would need a sign for the elder. Today in bom class he said that he could so seeing himself live here. So thats my sign. I am so happy but I wanted to thank you again for all your help

mormon_girl_101 | Thu, 01/31/2008 - 21:52