Boyfriend in jail.
So, my boyfriend and I have been together 1yr and 10 months now. Everything between him and I had been fine. He really helped me out a lot in a tough time in my life. He was the first person to make me feel loved, and showed me how much I was really worth. Thing is before we were together he got into some trouble with the law. It wasn't a little thing, but something that could get him from 1-20yrs. I knew about it from the beginning, but I continued on with the relationship because i truly love this guy. I never thought his court date would come, since all this happened when he was 16 and he is now 19. But, it came. He went in one Dec.10th the day after my birthday. I prayed so hard that he be left out until sentencing, but that didn't happen. Now his sentencing date is coming up on Feb.11th and I don't know what to do. I am not ready to end this relationship I really love him, but the outcome may not be good. From the looks of things lately he is getting maybe 8-10 yrs. His lawyer is trying for 3 but it doesn't seem very likely. He keeps trying to break it off with me, saying I don't deserve this and shouldn't wait and that he'll look for me when he comes out. But, I just can't seem to let go and I persuade him to keep talking to me again. What should I do? I kind of know what must be done, but my heart just can't let go of him and give up on us.
Sometimes you have to let go
You've got a really tough situation. But whether he gets three years or ten, you already have some idea that you need to break the relationship off.
Of course, you don't want to, and of course it's going to be hard. But ending the relationship doesn't mean that you have to stop loving him. It doesn't mean you can't still care about him, and think about him, and write to him from time to time. It just means that you have to realize that you're not going to see him for a long time (or not very often, anyway), and that you need to get on with your life as best as you can.
What does it mean to move on? It doesn't mean moving on to new relationships. Even though you need to end the relationship with him, it's not like that means you should start dating other people again right away. In fact, you may go a year or two without dating anyone, or even more. When you're ready for a new relationship, you'll know.
Really, "moving on" in this case means making sure you do what's necessary for your own future to give yourself the best you can. In other words-- making the best grades you can in school, looking for opportunities for when you graduate high school (whether that's college, vocational school, or a full time job), etc. And I think these things are enough to keep you busy and help you keep your mind off him.
If you try to keep a "relationship" with him through this time, it's just going to be harder on both of you. You're going to feel bad because of him in his situation, but think of it from his position-- think how bad he'll feel that you feel bad because he feels bad. Of course, it's a tough place to be in, but the best thing you can do is just try to get the best for yourself.
If you can, of course, you can still write to him and even visit him if you can. But you also need some space now-- and I don't think you can get that space if you try to keep the relationship.
I know it will be hard. But remember, putting an end to the relationship doesn't mean you have to stop loving him. It doesn't mean you have to stop caring about him. It doesn't mean he will stop caring for you. It just means that you need to move on in life and make sure you work for the best future that you can.