A lot of teens worry about "missing out" sexually, but making the most of every moment doesn't mean you need to fret about sex. Many virgins fear they'll die before they engage in intercourse, but think of the years ahead: sexual opportunity will not disappear. Only an STD can ruin your chances, and virgins don't need to worry about those.

The fear of "missing out" is caused by the perception that teenage sex is one big party. However, most teens are not having sex, and many who do regret it. Second, of those who do, look at their situations: often they have a long-term relationship with someone they love. Your situation may not be the same, and that's the heart of the issue: you're not in the same situation. With any subject as universal as sexuality, there are bound to be exceptions to any generalization. Yes, some teens enjoy sex-- but not as many as say so; many are "all talk and no game." Also, just because someone makes a choice that works for them does not mean it will work for you. Most teens don't have sex or regret it, and those who do enjoy engaging in sexual activity are usually in stable, committed relationships.

In life you will be tested by the great variety of beliefs in this world. Some will make you question what is true, and you must decide for yourself what is valid, but remember: what's good for others may not be good for you. If your life dream has been to wait for someone you love, but you get tired of waiting and decide to try casual sex, you will be disappointed. Don't sell out your beliefs. It's easy to get laid, if that's what you want-- but if you've set your heart on love first, only by waiting will you find happiness.

Sex can be something really big or really small. You get what you put into it. If your first sexual encounters are relatively anonymous, quick, and characterized by heavy use of drugs, they won't be very satisfying. If you discipline yourself and hold back waiting for the right person, you can achieve the sex of dreams.

How do you know when the time is right? If you plan on waiting for marriage, the answer is easy: marriage. However, this is not an acceptable choice for everyone. Does this mean you should have sex whenever? No.

It takes tremendous responsibility and maturity from the time your reproductive organs are ready to reproduce to the time you are emotionally prepared to use them. Sexual activity is like financial independence: yes, some teens are independent at 13, 14, or 16, but few of them are happy, and their lives are difficult. Of course, we all want to be independent sometimes, but we hold back because we know it's best to wait, and we will get our chances someday. Age does matter. There is an incredible maturity difference between 16 and 26, but at 16 you can't see that.

If you don't plan on waiting until you are married, it's still probably best to abstain from sexual activity during high school. Some couples can handle it, but many can't. Especially if you don't have anyone special, why give in? At the very least, be sure you won't regret it if you would happen to meet the person you really wanted to wait for later.

Even if you find someone you absolutely love, restrain yourself awhile (see What Is Love?). Make sure it's love. Learn to appreciate the little things. A kiss or innocent caress can be as intimate and fulfilling as something much more sexual. You can express yourself sexually without moving farther physically; just be creative. Don't fall into the "love is sex" trap. If you can retain and enjoy a loving relationship without sexual activity, not only will you appreciate sex more later in life, but you will be more successful in your future relationships.