Your first time can be the moment you've waited your whole life for or the night you wish never happened. Planning makes the difference.

Right now, think of your future: what do you want your first sexual experience to be like? Do you want to lay comfortably in a large bed laced with flowers, candles burning, sharing gentle, precious time with the person you love? Or would you rather be rushed in the back seat of a car, desperate desire grinding you together with some anonymous (though hot) guy or girl? Would you rather have a relationship with life, or a one night stand?

Many teens believe in waiting until marriage, for love, or even "just through high school." If you yourself are waiting, please read The Sexiness of Virginity. If you're considering sexual activity "that's not sex", please read The Sex That Is Not Sex This present article assumes you are strongly considering sexual intercourse and deals with practical preparation regarding the big issues: STDs, pregnancy, and commitment.

Of course, the most practical preparation for sex is to make sure you're ready. Far too many people rush only to realize it's not sex they want, but love. Love isn't found through sex. If you want emotional commitment, jumping into physical commitment will only backfire.

If you learn about sex before you get involved, determine what sex means to you, hold this view over a long period of time, find someone you care about who cares about you, and you're certain this is a good choice, and you take your time and use birth control, then your first sexual experiences will likely largely be positive.

However, that's a lot of work just to have sex. That's the point! You shouldn't be involved "just" to have sex; you should have more in mind when you enter a relationship than how much "action" you can get. Sexual activity is fun, but it isn't everything, and if you're emotionally messed up sex will probably make you worse, not better. Sexual relationships initiated solely for sexual pleasure end up being dissatisfying because people want to get attached; generally people would rather have sex with someone they love than isolated encounters with nothing but physical feeling.

Of course, when your relationship is more than physical attraction-- with love, trust, honesty, and mutual respect-- you still don't "have" to have sex. There is no need to have sex just because you have feelings for the other person. There are plenty of other ways to express your emotion, many more intimate than intercourse itself. The joy of love can be expressed in poems, flowers, walks, massages, kisses-- the beauty is in the love, not the specifics of what you're doing.

Everybody's curious about sex. We all have sexual desire, and in some sense we all "experiment" sexually. However, thinking about sex and actually having sex are two entirely different things; there is a world of difference between reality and fantasy. In fantasy, sex is always good: there may be some complications, but somehow everything works out in the end. However, mistaking fantasy for reality causes problems. Real sex has real consequences, and by neglecting those consequences in your behavior you can really get hurt.

Carefully evaluate your options before you decide to engage in sexual activity. Do some research! Throughout this article I've provided links to websites covering a broad range of topics in sexuality. If you're going to have sex, you should know what you're getting involved in beforehand.