If you were the one that broke up with your ex, at least you can say that he or she wasn't making you happy anymore and the time for your relationship was over.

What happens, though, when you were happy to be with your ex, and you didn't want things to end-- and yet he or she goes and breaks up with you?

If you've spent a lot of time together-- if you really love him or her-- losing the person could be one of the hardest things in your teenage years. That's good because you probably won't have to deal with much worse. Of course, you have to deal with losing your love.

For a long time you'll feel paralyzed and shocked. You need to get out of this stage as quickly as possible. Sure, take a few days for it to register, but after that don't stay immobilized. The important thing to do those first few weeks is to get moving. Remember all those things that you wanted to do but never got around to? Pick one and go do it now. Was there something you always wanted to try but couldn't because you were with him? Try it now. Do things you want to do.

Yes, there will be times to cry-- many, many-- and certainly, cry! You need to feel the pain so you can get over it-- but don't just sit there and grieve for days; if you cry too much, you're not going to get over him any better than if you don't cry at all. That's why you need to do things!

Also, make sure to take a break from your ex for awhile (at least a few months). Sure, he or she may still be nice, but if you keep hanging around him or her you aren't going to get over your ex. You need to take some time by yourself to figure out who you are, to do the things you want to do. Being with your ex will hinder that.

Take some time to yourself. And remember, he or she broke up with you because of conflicting (different) interests, not because you are a bad person. You are every bit as good now as you were with your ex.

Yes, breakups hurt a lot, but if you take your time-- giving yourself plenty to heal-- and avoid self-defeating behavior (like always trying to find out what he or she is doing now, who your ex is with, etc.)-- you will survive. Stop and catch those little self-defeating remarks. You aren't a bad person. You are every bit as worthy of love now as you were then, and that love is still going to come someday.

Besides, after all this pain and suffering has ended, you WILL be stronger for it. You'll not only know more about relationships, but you'll understand much better than you did before, and maybe next time things will work out perfectly (or close).

One last word of advice: take the time to heal alone. Don't jump into a new relationship. You're not ready for it. Even if this new guy or gal is great, you're still going to have a heck of a time because you haven't gotten over your feelings for your ex. It's much better to get over the old first and then go with the new if you still feel like it. Replacing the old with the new rarely works, and it's much easier to deal with one broken relationship than two.

Oh, and if you were trying to get revenge, you're only hurting everyone but your ex-- yourself, because your feelings will only be amplified if you keep bringing them up in spite rather than dealing with them, and the other person, the one you're dating now, because he or she genuinely thinks he has a chance with you when you're really just using him to get back at your ex. Don't do this! Give it up! It's over! There is no need to seek revenge. You will only hurt yourself and others.

Trust me, you can recover, and you will even find love again someday-- but the path there is not through fighting with your past, but by examining who you are now, by discovering your true self, so that the one who truly loves "you for you" can find you.