Cybersex

Cybersex didn't exist 30 years ago when your parents started fooling around. It's too new for schools to cover it. So it's easy to get lost when you're trying to find out what it is and what to do.

What is it?

Cybersex is "sex" but it's online. Two people find each other-- usually through chat rooms or instant messenger-- and they type sexual messages back and forth. There are specific chat rooms for this kind of thing, but if you use a major IM network you may be hit up randomly with this kind of request (often unwelcome). Skype in particular is bad about this.

Sometimes people just flirt. Other times people type messages to simulate having sex. Usually both participants masturbate as they type messages. Sometimes people exchange pictures or use webcams.

Why do it?

Most people who do cybersex do it with people they don't know-- strangers that they have never met (and never intend to meet). It's an easy and relatively safe way to experiment and try out sexual fantasies without actually putting one's body at risk. Also, since there is no real physical contact, there is no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Since it's basically just masturbating with another person, it's very safe sex.

Many people don't see the point of cybersex. Most of these people don't enjoy masturbating, either. Whether you are interested in cybersex or not, though, there are some things to bear in mind.

Are there any risks?

Everything we do in life has risks. For cybersex, here are the most important ones.

1. You don't know who is on the other end. You may think it's someone close to your age but the person could be 30 or 50. For this reason, you should never exchange personal information-- your full name, your picture, your phone number-- with anyone that you randomly have cybersex with. Although many people exchange pictures, many people use fake pictures. If you have to send a picture, send a fake. But try using your imagination instead-- after all, you're never going to meet the person, so (at its best) cybersex is mostly pretend anyway.
2. On many IM networks, it's easy for people to hold on to your screen name. For example, on AIM, people can add you to their buddy list and see when you're online. Although there are some ways to prevent this from happening, the best thing to do is to register a separate screen name for cybersex. This way, if you're sitting at the desk doing homework and talking to friends on your parents' computer there is still no chance of inappropriate messages coming up.
3. Never meet anyone you have cybersex with. A good explanation of why can be found at Perverted Justice. Perverted Justice is a volunteer organization that outs sexual predators online and turns them over to the police. This goes hand-in-hand with not giving out your contact information; if you don't give your information out when you mess around online, people can't harass you later.