Being single can be difficult, especially when most of your friends have/have had somebody. But there's nothing wrong with being single; it's much better to feel occasionally lonely then to spend time with someone who doesn't really care about you.
Looking at other people's relationships, you often see only the positives, but even the best relationships have some drawbacks. There are pros and cons to any situation.
Loneliness is difficult-- it's almost worth it to get into any relationship, any relationship at all-- but it's not. Learning to live with yourself is one of the most important lessons during your teenage years. When you can accept you're not always going to have someone in your life, things will get better, you'll have more self confidence, and when you finally do find someone, you'll be able to appreciate your relationship that much more. Besides, if you always are in a relationship, even with people you don't particularly like, how is the one you truly want ever going to find you?
Instead of feeling lonely, go out and do things you like to do. And then when you meet guys/girls with similar interests, talk to them! To get involved with someone you care about, get involved with something you care about. Of course, you won't necessarily date them, but get to be friends: having friends is a great way to show yourself that yes, you can talk to the other sex.
Boys (or girls) may be on your mind a lot, but don't let them dominate your life. If the opposite sex is all you can think about, things are out of control. Put "romance" on the back-burner for a second. Find your own heart first; then look to connect to another's. Make sure your own life is in order before you start trying to enter someone else's.
Enjoy what you have! There's nothing glamourous about always having a boyfriend or girlfriend. There's nothing great about always being "taken." Really, it's kind of pathetic that so many people "need" a partner to feel self worth. Don't be taken in by this crap. You are your own person. Value your own life. You don't "need" anybody to give your life meaning.
If you enjoy casual relationships without any real commitment, fine, but if you are upset because you can't get a serious relationship, look at what you're doing. What kind of people are you going after? You can't just "have a serious relationship" because you want one. It's a lot of work.
Without some time to be alone you'll never develop who you truly are. Yes, we find ourselves in others, as the saying goes. But we can only find ourselves if we recognize who we are, and the only way we can do that is on our own, by ourselves.
Society makes relationships such a big deal it's no wonder teens fret and fear being single. Besides, it's a natural desire to want to be in a relationship. But that doesn't mean you have to be, or even that you should be!
Plenty of people go through relationships like Kleenexes. Of course, some think a bit more carefully and realize that it's probably easier and more effective in the long run to just get a handkerchief. Yes, a handkerchief is a bit more costly, but no longer do you have to worry about where that next tissue is going to come from. The handkerchief will be there. (Still, sometimes handkerchiefs need replacing. But I'll stop here.)
Listen carefully to people who go on and on about how great their boyfriends or girlfriends are. Sometimes, the person has a truly caring, sweet boyfriend or girlfriend who loves her and works hard to make her happy. This person may genuinely be in love-- but chances are, that boyfriend or girlfriend didn't fall out of the sky.
Then there's that person who has a new date every week or two. Cynical people might say that these people are only pushing their own feelings of insecurity off on everybody else, and the only way they can feel secure is because they can get attention from boys/girls. When these people talk about love, they generally don't know what they're talking about. What does it mean to be in love after two weeks? Besides, if you date that many people, you're probably too caught up in yourself to get to know your partners.
Here's the difference: the first person thinks his or her date is great, while the second thinks dating is great.
Ideally we could always date someone really sweet who could connect with us on a deep level but still share in all the fun besides. Unfortunately, this is rarely possible. So we're given a choice-- do you date people you don't care about so much, or do you wait for someone you really like?
Before you start dating, ask yourself: "What do I want out of a relationship?" Dating "just because" that's the thing to do isn't going to make you happy. Dating because you're tired of being single will be a change of scenery, but it won't solve your loneliness problem.
You choose whether to date for serious involvement or fun, but don't confuse the two: you can't have love in a fling and going long-term won't always be light-hearted fun.
You won't (and shouldn't) know everything about your partner before you start going out, but you should know something. Getting to know each other before you get involved will tell you volumes about whether you're compatible or not, while also sparing you from jumping into a relationship that wouldn't work. Especially if you want a serious relationship, get acquainted before you start dating-- besides, how can you know you want to be serious when you don't even know $him?
In life, obviously, you'll probably be in both kinds of relationships: serious and casual. But you don't have to start in high school. You have plenty of time. In the great scheme of things, high school isn't really important. Plenty of normal, highly successful, romantically successful people never dated in high school. But boy, are there a lot of ways to screw up if you do.
Here's a big secret that most people figure out sooner or later: the people who value looks most are the only ones you don't want to get involved with.
I'm not saying looks aren't important. They are. What I'm saying is there's no such thing as a perfect body, and there's no reason to make drastic changes to your own.
There's no girl every guy likes, and no guy every girl likes (no guy every guy likes, no girl every girl likes). Everybody has other people who like them, and nobody has everybody like them.
And I'm not talking "despite your looks, I like you for your personality." No, I mean, "Wow, you have a hot body!"
We're too eager to set standards for what looks good and what doesn't. But the fact is, we all prefer different things. Don't be taken in when people tell you have to dress a certain way, or act a certain way, or that "well I'm sorry, you'll never have somebody because you're just too plain ugly!" Chances are, the person who told you that was too cold-hearted to ever get in a decent relationship.
You can spend your life trying to fake being someone else, working hard to be who you're not, fighting every day the desire within your heart to be you. Or you can tell society to shove it and celebrate who you are, be beautiful (or handsome), and enjoy your life because dang it, it's your life, and you only get one shot.
If you don't like the way you look, and you want to change, fine, but do it for you, don't do it for somebody else. If you decide you need to slim down to be healthy, that's perfectly acceptable. But don't starve yourself because some dick thinks you're fat.
Regardless of your looks, there will be people who will be attracted to you. There probably already are; there's a lot of shy people out there who will never say anything. Of course, hopefully attraction won't be the sole basis of your relationships.
Contrary to popular belief, younger does not equal better. In society we like to downplay differences, but there is a huge gap between 14 and 20.
Lots of people say, "Well, I'm mature for my age," and if so, that's great! But there are two kinds of maturity: behaving maturely and being mature. Behaving mature requires a quick mind and an ability to act "beyond your age." These are good skills, but to actually be mature requires life experience-- years lived-- that you simply don't have at 14, 15, or 16.
You have plenty of time to develop relationships later in life. Now is the time to find yourself-- not to be looking for someone else.
If your parents disallow you to date until a certain age, don't worry-- you're not alone, and you'll have plenty of opportunities later. Besides, dating at younger ages isn't much fun-- what can you really do at 14, anyway? Many aren't allowed to date until they're 16. At 16 you can drive a car, so this seems pretty reasonable to me, comparatively. Of course, if your parents say 18, that's tough. But it's not the end of the world.
If you take lessons learned while single to heart-- you can survive by yourself without a relationship, for example-- you'll be much more successful later in your relationships. Of course, that means you have to learn the lessons from being single, which means you're going to have to be single for awhile. But being single is fun! If you don't think so-- if you can't have fun by yourself-- how are you ever going to have fun with others?
Take some time and find out who you are. Boys and girls can come later. There's no sense dating someone only to find out you're somebody different. Save yourself the trouble and do that first.